Fernanda's Forever Sabbatical Starts Soon

In one month I will be retired from my position as a Distinguished Professor at the University of California, Davis. I’ve been a professor for almost 40 years and I’ve been collecting a paycheck since I was 15. As you would guess, then, this is a big life change. And indeed, I was planning to work one more year, taking me to 66 on my retirement day, but about a month ago I realized I’d had enough and I wanted a big change. I love working and I loved being a professor, but I’d begun to feel that the changes in society, in academia, in students, and in my own research field all added up to more negatives than positives. I want time to pursue some other interests, and, if I’m being honest, I want time to do pretty much nothing sometimes. 

This will be somewhat of a “soft retirement.” I have three PhD students I still supervise, two of whom will be in their fourth year of our graduate program this fall and one who will be in her second year. I will see them through to their degrees, which means I will keep a lab running, I’ll read their papers and provide feedback, and I’ll do the usual mentoring stuff. What won’t I do? Well, one big item is that I won’t apply for research funding. The scientific funding system has never been all that good to me, especially here in the United States, but I have managed to scrounge some sort of grant support through most of my career. Last fall and winter I started working on a new proposal that I intended to submit to both NSF and NIH, and I had essentially a complete draft, but when I thought about the review process, which is painful and tedious at the best of times, and connected that to my shock and horror at what has been done to the once-great funding system in the US (yes, I realize I’m sort of contradicting myself here - on the one hand, I hate the US funding system; on the other hand, it’s a gem and something we need to work to protect - more on that in another post), I felt all the air go out of that specific ambition. I just didn’t want to submit that grant, and I likely never will. 

Another reason this retirement will be on the soft side (for a few years at least) is that I’m also involved in a Diamond Open Access journal I started in 2020, Glossa Psycholinguistics. I served as its first co-Editor-in-Chief (with my dear colleague and friend, Brian Dillon). After five years, in accordance with the journal’s constitution, I stepped down and now I am the Production Editor. I don’t make editorial decisions but I shepherd articles from acceptance to actual publication on the journal website. It’s a more demanding task than you might imagine. 

So, the big question: What do I want to do now that I’m liberated from work? Here’s a partial list:

• Write, as I’m doing here. I like writing and I feel it’s always been one of my academic strengths, but the conventions and rules of academic writing have always stifled me a bit. It’ll be nice to write in my own way, on topics that interest me.
• Read: I wasn’t even sure about including this explicitly because I’ve always been a reader and obviously that won't change. But I have a reading list that’s a mile long, with both fiction and nonfiction, and I’m keen to start working through it.
• Math: For the past few months I’ve been reviewing my high school math and I’d like to keep going with it. I used to love math and it was one of my best subjects in school, but apart from statistics, I haven't really done much math post high school. I sometimes think about getting a degree, although I haven’t decided yet if that’s necessary or plausible.
• Volunteering: I'd like to find an organization to donate my time to - something that takes advantage of my skill set and is also fun and rewarding. Maybe some sort of tutoring? 
• Exercise: I’m committing to a version of what I call the Mick Jagger workout program, which is about 45 minutes of running, 30 minutes of strength training, and 30 minutes of stretching/yoga each day (he puts in more time, but that’s the basic structure). I have no worries about maintaining this program, at least for the next decade or so, as I’ve been exercising for at least an hour per day for most of my adult life.
• Cooking/baking: I’ve always enjoyed cooking and I’d like to improve my skills.
• Resting and vegging out.
• Travel: I want to spend more time with family who live in other places, meaning short trips done in a reasonably luxurious way. 

And now, what scares me as I embark on this new phase of my life? 

• Death: It horrifies me to think that I’ll be lucky to get 25 more years on this planet. 
• Dementia: My mother has severe dementia and her whole experience with it is one of the great horrors of my life. I immediately jump on any article or video I come across on how to fight cognitive decline. So far so good, I think. To help boost my chances, I stopped drinking alcohol about a year ago, I prioritize exercise and sleep, and I eat pretty healthy foods. The one thing I worry about is the next item on this list: 
• Loneliness: I know it’s harder to maintain connections when you’re no longer working. Actually, this isn’t as true as it was back when everyone worked in offices and on campus. Nowadays, you go into a campus building and it’s a ghost town - no one’s there. I suspect a lot of people in academia now feel disconnected from their colleagues because they barely see them. In a discipline like mine, it’s really only your lab that gives you a reliable social connection. Nonetheless, I know that people who retire lose contact with friends and colleagues. I need to watch out for that because I am an introvert and a homebody, and I love being alone. 
• Laziness: This admission often surprises people, but I can be remarkably lazy. On the one hand, as the daughter of working-class immigrants, I have a ferocious work ethic. On the other hand, when I shift out of that mode I get lethargic and inert. Of course, it’s more than fine for an afternoon or a few days, but I have to make sure I don’t give in to that tendency too much or for too long or I’ll end up feeling the opposite of energized and happy. It’s all a matter of balance. 

In upcoming posts I’ll talk about why I made this decision and I'll discuss the challenges I’m encountering as I start this new phase of my life.

Beautiful San Diego, where I hope to spend a fair bit of time hanging out with my adorable little nephew.